Chobani’s $650 Million Cash Grab Is Pure Crap
Chobani just pocketed $650 million in “growth capital” from unnamed “industry thought leaders,” according to Food Dive. The problem? Those “leaders” aren’t visionaries — they’re Lexington Partners, Blackstone, and Norges Bank, the same private-equity machinery fattening half of America’s processed-food sector. While Food Dive printed the press release and called it journalism, SpokenFood followed the money — and found a health-halo brand expanding on the same synthetic sugar and financial spin that define the very system it claims to reform.
BTW…We sent this story asking for comment to Chobani, Food Dive and the New York Times.